How To Deal With People Who Get By With Doing You Wrong (A Practical Guide)
I think we all know at least one person who has everyone fooled. They pop up at the most convenient times, they say the right things at the most opportune moments, and they wax all kinds of manipulation in the form of the do-gooder. You know, that one person who smiles to your face, and ten minutes after you disappear, they attempt to ax-murder your reputation and discredit you?
If you live long enough, you will eventually find yourself faced with this type of person. Whether as a friend, or a co-worker, a neighbor, or maybe even a significant other. Sometimes this person comes from inside our own immediate family (unfair as that may be).
The question is, how do you deal with a dirty person who gets away with doing you wrong? Or, if we're thinking on a broader perspective, how do we deal with dirty people who get away with doing the wrong things?
I've been here a time or two (or three or four), and the first, most primal human reaction is that of revenge. Not that we actually demonstrate this revenge, but it is not uncommon to sit around brooding and brainstorming all the fantastic ways in which we could exact revenge on this person for being such a dirty, conniving individual. And as wonderful as it would be to be the one to make this nasty person pay for what they did, revenge is not the beneficial tactic here. Two wrongs don't make a right. So, revenge is not the answer. Neither is grudge-holding or anger-bearing. Both of these will deplete your energy and rob you of your inner peace.
So, how do you deal when someone does you wrong and they get away with it? Below are some tactics for making the best of this bad situation:
1) Omit them from the picture. Seriously, someone who gets their kicks from hurting others does not deserve a place in your life. If you can at all, cut ties with this individual before they can serve you further harm. If you can't completely cut ties (this person is your mother or boss) then limit your interaction with this individual. And, remind yourself to take whatever they do or say with a grain of salt...as they do not function with the best interest of others in mind! Oh, but they are ruining your reputation with their slanderous ways? Know and trust that anyone who truly knows you, and has your best interest in mind, can't be moved in their disposition of you. So any person that can be fooled by the no-do-gooder is not a person who truly knows you, so what does their opinion of you matter anyway? Right...it doesn't!
2) Refuse to hold onto grudges and anger. Buddha said that holding on to anger is like holding onto a hot coal...you burn yourself while the other person escapes unscathed. I think that's pretty accurate. Don't sit around wasting your precious time and energy worrying and being angry about this person while they are probably out there enjoying themselves. Cut your ties (if you can), ignore them, tell yourself they are inept...and then go do something fun and wonderful. Really...STOP thinking about it.
3) Ask yourself, 'How is ruminating over this event beneficial to me?' So, maybe you're really angry about it. You're having a hard time letting go. Perhaps what this person did to you was really, really terrible. Okay, it was. And they aren't even a real human because of it. If you are stuck in a mental rut of anger and grudges and revenge and you can't seem to get it...stop for a second and ask yourself this question. 'How is ruminating over this event beneficial to me?' Ask yourself, also, 'Is ruminating over this event making me happier, or the people surrounding me happier, is it improving my life or my mood?' If the answer is no....just let it go already and move on. Resolve to STOP worrying about it once and for all!
4) Be content that sooner or later, their karmic energy will catch up with them. No good deed goes unrewarded and no bad deed goes unpunished. What goes around comes around. You reap what you sew. You're getting it now, huh? Don't waste your time worrying about revenge or thinking about what terrible destiny this nasty person deserves...eventually karma will pay them back for their dirty deeds.
5) Just knowing that they are a nasty person is revenge enough. Honestly, if they are making it their hobby to go around trying to destroy other people, imagine from what terrible moral ground they are performing? They must be miserable on the inside. And, at the least, they have a very flawed and sick perception of the world. I think that's punish enough, in and of itself. It must just kill them on the inside when they do, indeed, see another person thrive. In the end, when all distractions and lies are stripped to solitude, this person has to accept, and live with, their terrible ways.
6) Let them see you thrive. Your happiness and success is your best revenge. Miserable people can't stand to see other people being happy. So, rather than focusing on the negative they have tried to bring into your life, shift your focus. Focus on making your life even more amazing. Trust me, nothing kills these people more than seeing you happy (and unharmed by their terrible behavior).
So, the next time someone steals your assigned parking spot with their delusional sense of grandiosity or when your new, nosy neighbor decides their next personal project will be an ill-devised vendetta against your reputation...just refer back to this article for some piece of mind! And remember that your happiness will stick in their craw every time!
So, the next time someone steals your assigned parking spot with their delusional sense of grandiosity or when your new, nosy neighbor decides their next personal project will be an ill-devised vendetta against your reputation...just refer back to this article for some piece of mind! And remember that your happiness will stick in their craw every time!
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